Reminder

Dear Self,

Here's a tap on the shoulder for being brave,

For believing in youself,

For going after your dreams,

And for striving

To put into work

Your visions

You know what you want to do

And what you're doing it for

You know your worth

You know what you deserve

Keep going,

Keep moving forward,

Keep pushing, for your dreams to come true

You've got this!

In college, one of my besties gave us, her friends, motivational stickers. Mine says, "My dreams are worth chasing after." And it hit me. Since then, whenever I am on the verge of giving up, I'd remind myself of that phrase.

Lately naman, there wasn't anything I'd give up on, but overthinking has caused me to doubt myself. I'm grateful to the people who showed me the things I'm capable of doing.

A Leap of Faith

Lately, I've been taking chances, taking steps towards my goals and dreams.

For years, I've always had plans and visions, but they end up stored in a box called "forgotten hopes and dreams" because I tend to overthink and maybe because I was afraid to fail and end up disappointed.

But I was reminded to just do my best, do what I can do and just let things happen, let things flow and not worry.

The weather is quite fickle these days, but the rain won't stop me from shining, the wind can't stop me from moving forward, the sun's heat won't stop me from going out. Hihi. ☀️

My prayer is for God to lead me to right path. Whatever it is that He wants me to do, wherever He wants me to go, I will follow. I will serve Him.

I have returned, but I had to leave the old me behind

Today, I got rid of my Tumblr account... but I cried a little before clicking yes when I was asked if I was sure I wanted everything deleted. I also deactivated my Facebook account, but had to keep my Twitter and IG accounts, to keep the handle. LOL Because I am selfish like that. Haha. I don't want anyone to use my current social media handles.

I started using Tumblr when a good friend of mine suggested that I try it out and start writing. I became active in it for three years, writing poems and essays about life, love and anything under the sun. I also posted photos, videos and links to music that I fell in love with... because it was my safe space. It was where I posted all sorts of shit that I do and think of, because to me, it was a place I knew I won't be judged.

But I ended up spending a lot of time doom scrolling, reading quotes and poetry and reading updates on people's lives, hoping to get inspiration and pick up lessons.

I also posted a lot of cringey stuff about the guy that I liked. Oh, God. HAHAHA. We both hate drama, So I had to do some cleaning, hoping he would not see my past posts. Ughhhh. Also, I believe it's time to grow up and let go of old ways and old mindsets that didn't take me anywhere.

A friend of mine reminded me of how it's already half of the year, yet I still haven't done what I am supposed to do. He has been doing his best to help me get my life in order, but I always fail in keeping my shit together and in trying to focus on the more important things, because of all the distractions I am surrounded with and all the tasks and events I got myself into. HAHAHUHU. Hence, the deactivation, deletion and inactivation on socials. I appreciate the time and effort he has given and I don't want to put those things and lessons to waste. And I am doing this because I want to.

I once wrote a poem which goes...

Hindi ako magbabago

Nang dahil hindi ako ang iyong tipo

Kung ako man ay may baguhin,

Ito ay dahil sa akin at para sa akin

Importante na tanggap ko

Kung sino ako,

Ang buo kong pagkatao,

Nang may mabuting prinsipyo

So there you go. I would like to be the best version of myself, for me and because of me.