No Regrets

No more "Should Haves", "Could Haves" and "Would Haves" next year.

I am laying them down here so I won't have to carry them in 2025.

Should Haves

You hate it when I thank you and apologize, so I'll tell you the other things I should have told you.

- I should have been honest about how I felt for you. I confirmed that you guessed right, but I never told you directly, "I love you."

- I should have been frank when you said the time and effort you spent on me meant nothing. I should have told you, "Cut the crap." It could be anything but it is not "nothing".

- I do not regret the times spent talking to you or the miles traveled to be with you because that was how special you were to me. Every minute was precious.

Would Haves

- I would have stayed longer, but I worried I might cause some hassle. You stayed up until I got home safely.

- I would have hugged you if I had the courage, but I thought it might be rude. With active cases of COVID-19, I didn't even attempt to ask if it was okay.

Could Haves

- I could have clasped your hand when you gave me the longest high five, but I worried it might make you uncomfortable because I wasn't sure how you felt about me.

- I could have just asked you that day, but I didn't want to ruin it.

And just so you know, not seeing you or not knowing what you are up to does not make any difference. Love and memories linger. The lessons you taught me and the stories you shared, they live in my head rent-free, useful when I'm in some situation. The conversations, and the songs you played, our budols and random "show and tell" portions—they all flash back.

I wasn't expressive, but it was obvious. I love you. I regret nothing.